Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

Lo!  We are moving to New York.  By “we” I mean I and my girlfriend, Penelope.  How are we doing it?  By that most prototypically American of methods: the cross-country road trip.  Sadly my faithful vehicle of the last 10 years, a 1993 Audi A6 Quattro Wagon known locally as the Golden Chariot, was deemed to be of inadequate constitution for the journey.  Luckily she found a new home with fellow road-warrior and friend Jen Blakeslee who will, no doubt, give it the love I could never provide.

How, then, are we transporting ourselves?  It is not by magic, I assure you – though we are presently in Vegas and Criss Angel has been bugging me non stop to hang out and show me his latest tricks.  (Seriously, Criss, we’re only Facebook friends.)  Instead I pulled a credit card out of my wallet and rented our newest companion, a 2010 Nissan Altima which we have dubbed the Altimatum. It appears even to have a mind of its own; twice I have come to the parking lot to find it either running (it has no remote ignition) or with the trunk popped open.  Perhaps it can be chalked up to the keyless fob it uses in place of a good old-fashioned key.  Technology!  What a pain.

We of course stopped at Pea Soup Andersen’s on the way down, which if you ever find yourself driving down the 5 from San Francisco to LA you simply must do.  As in, it is illegal not to.  We also stopped at a Del Taco, a place about which nothing is compulsory.  And now, our bellies full from the breakfast buffet at the Orleans, we prepare ourselves for an afternoon and evening of high adventure at the – wait for it – Adventuredome! Which is why I will end the blog here and head as quickly as I can to the nearest foot-long margarita station.  Stay tuned for some oversharing later in the evening.